Because I am Me….(I still exists & I have no exit)

RAW

Stay Tune in the possibilities of living in life is a big task. Comfort zones are still a far cry for me. When the things are going in a relaxed path, like the past the fate is showing its teeth massively.

                                                                              DO      

The change in terrain for flowing is a good one. But the coincident is Crows and Wolves are same in each and every arena. I can’t inhale their hot whispering. Resisting is a breathtaking one if it is happening in a golden cage. Productivity, calibre and eminence can’t play their roles perfectly in-front of the restriction of a repugnant play. I am an untethered Kite. My wind is my freedom and my space of creativity. I am a Lion in a wild forest, not an one in a Zoo. Regain of my Kingdom is very near.

Because I am Me.

REALIZE

If it is my professional side, another side is remaining. That is personal. In my past periods I was mistakenly driven to mystical paths to find the eternal love, an enchanting relation and an evergreen life. But those were really mistakes. After that I was totally secluded to a situation of no action. But from one day I started to feel an unique feeling when I looking to a person’s face. That was not like the feel happened in past. That was still an awesome experience and still is in us. That person’s care, words, advises and love made me as a perfect man and a perfect Leo. Suddenly I started craving for staying in that experience and feel for my life long. But the reality shook its head in a form of NO. My brain accepted it but my heart is still craving. I know my wish is not going to happen, but I like to dream that in each and every second of my clock. I know we have to live our own lives as separated. I will not be in that person’s happiness but definitely I will be with that person’s dumps and insecurity like a pillar.

Because I am Me.

If I am an animal, I am a Lion

If I am a bird, I am an Eagle

If I am a tree, I am a Teak

If I am water, I am a River

If I am me, definitely I am me……

A well evening near a Well (A short story)

​My name is Chris, an executive in a company. I was a minor in the knowledge of my abilities and the depth of my visions . So in people’s attitude I can feel I am an outlying artist. Yah I always like to swim against the flow. I was really crazy in building my own way to find my destination. Yes I don’t know my destination, because I can’t copy someone’s successful life. My satisfaction is secluded in my efforts and my individuality. So I haven’t any role model. All great people lived their life and in my hand I have only my life. I have to furnish my life with my vision, my design, my manners and mannerism in my way.

I think this is the capsule of my picture. In this freelance mood, that was a Sunday. Usually I opened the doors of my garage and my 30 years old friend (car) was ready for a trip. Driving alone on a lonely road has giving a feel of a book reading. After 1 hour I covered almost 30 kilometres and I reached in the boundary of my ancestral house. My childhood was at that house. House situated behind of a huge field. The breeze at there is still a rejuvenating one. At present that house is locked and every month end I am coming to spent some hours at there. 
The front area was full of dust. I unlocked the doors and windows for better air. I diverted in to cleaning mode and started to enjoy the sound of vacuum cleaner. Yah an another 1 hour has passed and I have to relax. After drinking some water I just checked out that house and made a relaxed walking in the field near to the house. At that time I saw a Well on a good distance. That Well was unable to use since some years. I got a near distance from that Well. I looked inside the Well and roared, hellooooooo…..! 
No one has replied..ha ha ha…time of madness. I spent some minutes near the Well and prepared my foot steps for leave. 

Crying…no its a murmur..no no its a song..where is the source of this song?. I looked around, but I can’t see anyone. I realised , it’s from the Well. I again said a big hellooooooo. Now I can hear a tiny sound of a reply. Yah it’s a hello. But who is in this Well.

I put a small stone in that Well. After 3 seconds I heard a sound..oops…I again looked in the Well and I saw a little frog has looking upwards.

A conversation:

Chris: hai..who are you? Wau you can speak like human. Your sound is awesome. Who are you.
Frog: I can’t speak I can sing

          I can sing I can’t speak

          I am a fuzzy frog

          

The frog song….!

Crome..!!..Crome..!! I am a frog..

I can see my own world now

My sky has several colors 

My world has lot of water

My world is a cylinder one

I can sing pretty much

I can speak as authorised 

I can argue and I can command

I have knowledge as I can

I don’t need any more knowledge 

I can speak from my knowledge

I can do from my knowledge 

My knowledge is someone’s words

I can’t explore anymore 

I need only someone’s path

I can’t build my own path

Others should be follow me

Others should be obey me

Others should be smile to me

Hurt is my hurting enemy 

Crome..!!..Crome..!! I am a frog..

I can see my own world now

This well is my only world
Chris’s debate:

Hai frog…nice song. Your explanations about your world is pretty good. But this is not the real world. It’s a part of the world. Your world is a creation of human. It’s a well not a world.

You can argue and command in your knowledge. But the term knowledge is not a limited one. Your knowledge has limited in this Well. Don’t pressurise anybody for injecting your ideas. Respect other’s intentions, emotions and experience. Because they had seen the real world. You are following some one’s path. If you follow that path how can you explore yourself. You have a mission in this world. Don’t waste your life in this Well. Come out, look out the real world, feel it and experience it. You will know the world is not like exactly in books which you had read. Your are specialised in one subject. Yah you are a subject expert. I accepted but a single piece of subject is not the whole world.

You are respecting your knowledge. That’s good. You can move forward based on your knowledge. If you don’t enlarge your knowledge how can you move more forward. You have to stick on one arena and you will always unhappy in your limitations. But you can’t show that because you always pretending about you have great knowledge. Others knows  you are nothing. If they say to you about your foolishness you are considering them as fools and it hurts your brain. So you are saying ” hurt is your hurting enemy”. They are not hurting you. They are teaching you about the world is not which you had seen. But you can’t accept. You can only exhale can’t inhale. 

This is not a world. This is a sphere. You have to come out. Come on let’s feel the world. Now you are in water in a Well. You have to see the mother nature. Build your own path. If it is hard you will get the eternal happiness. Come out frog come out. Speak something.

Frog: I can’t speak I can sing

          I can sing I can’t speak

          I am a fuzzy frog

Chris: OK. ..then sing 

Frog: Crome..!!..Crome..!! I am a frog..

I can see my own world now

This well is my only world
Chris: ha ha ha…you are still a frog in a Well.
Chris….Chris…what are you doing.  Hey man get up. Boss has calling…

 

What? Boss?  Boss at here…oh my God. .I am at office…then frog, house. ….that was a day dream…!!! I slept in office hours…oh my God. .where is that file???
OK. .OK. .cool down Chris cool down. I have to do my job. If I am fired from this job I will get an another one. I am human not the Frog in the Well. I am not a half baked wit.

A Clown

Based on the theories about a Clown, he is a comic performer. He only knows to give happiness to others. I am thinking, I am a Clown. These thoughts are coming to me from yesterday noon. I had written about me in my previous blog, I am a very caring person and sometimes it creates some difficulties for others.

Yesterday lunch hour was a bad time for me. It broke my heart. My dearest person commented about me , “I am an over caring person”. I am disturbed not by the comment because  I heard the same before some days from another person. I accepted that as a lesson, that was cool and we had discussed about the privacy of a person, that was a time of knowledge. But yesterday I heard the same comment from an unexpected mouth. On that time I felt bad, and I am angry on me. I feel that time, I am a waste in the world.

In giving care and happiness, I am a sincere person and I had given the same to her utmost sincerely and may be that created some difficulties for her. She said these words in the presence of a person. On that time when she said , I was shocked, beacuse she said that……..

This world never needs a person like me because I am a clown, because  clowns are only for shows, in reality people dont need a clown. But Clowns need them, because in the time of a show Clown thinks they are my people. So he is too sincere to give happiness to people…….people only know his laughing face , dont know his sad face….he dont like to show his 2nd face to people………